philkazoo

Ever wonder how love can come your way at the most random of time?
Well... it does happen. I don't really know or understand how it happens, but it does.
It could be that good things happen to those who wait. People who are patient, strong-willed, and never give shall be rewarded.
It could just be fate. These people were meant to be. A match made by the powers far beyond human control.
It could be that they randomly fell our of the sky, and you were there to catch them.
Whatever the fuck the reason may be, it happens, and it has just happened to me.
You know that electricity you feel when you feel really good about someone, and that nothing else in the crazy world going on around you doesn't matter, just as long as the two of you are together?
That's how I feel.
Lonliness has been shoved into the trash compactor and had the switch turned on.
Because "real lonliness is not being in love in vain, but not being in love at all." (gahh gotta love Learner and Leowe)
I have been in really shitty relationships where I have always been the one with scars and wounds that I did nothing to earn. Only this time it feels so different.
He's 27, extremely cultured, sweet, romantic, incredible kisser, and makes me feel like gold. And what I receive, I give right back in return.
We haven't been together for long, and my feelings and hormones are running very fast right now, that I have had to put them on a leash. Because this guy is too amazing to just rush into anything too quickly. I want things to be different. Really let things blossum and go the right way so that he too, can be rewarded.
And I am going to shut up now because if I type everything that I feel and that is on my mind, I will have a serious case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

It's been years since I last wrote one of these. How sad. I have done a lot of growing up as you can see... I now have professional headshots for my performing career. I ended Etobicoke School of the Arts after playing the role of Mungojerrie in "CATS". That was such a great show, and such a fun part to play. Amy, my dance partner were inseparable during rehearsals and tech days and I love that girl. Couldn't have asked to have a better scene partner. Our number was the highlight, being the main comedic relief in the production, and also to mention the most acrobatic and crazy! We really told everyone that nobody messes with MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPLETEAZER! And of the course the after party was awesome. God Bless the after parties. I got accepted in to the Musical Theatre Performance program at Sheridan College, and it has been going very well. I had a solo in the end of th year's 1rst year showcase concert called TOTALLY 70S, and sang "How Deep Is Your Love" By the Beegees. That was kinda fun. After that I performed at Canada's Wonderland for the spring... but I don't mention that..*stupidstupidstupid* Right now I have gotten through to my second semester of second year, and I am performing in the Chorus and as a Sword Dancer.
I have been doing lots of writing myself.. and recently started reading a lot as well. I must be growing up. I was just turning 18 when I last wrote on here. A few days before I believe. I was reading the blog, and I realized how much has changed. I really don't agree with my statement in an earlier blog stating that "I most likely make a bad boyfriend" in my Valentines Days blog. I will make an excellent boyfriend. I just appearently have been all the wrong guys. Too wrong I think *stupid douchebags*. I can really pick them! I came to terms with that because appearently when you are with someone for a while and you start you show you care for them just one iensy little bit, they run away screaming.. yeah... that's me, scaring them off when I show one hint that I actually care about them. What is so wrong with that I gander. Last one claimed he was too busy for a relationship. He just didn't want to hurt me I guess, but it hurt more to be lied to in order for him to get out.
BUT ENOUGH OF MY PITIFUL LOVE LIFE.
I am very excited to be back. Enjoy some of these pictures I have from when I was last here, until now.








That's me now! aren't I looking HAWT?

It has officially been 2 years since I posted an entry.
I need to do this more often... Tis my new years resolution.
I am currently in my second year at Sheridan College.. Musical theatre performance... WHOO
I am currently doing a production here of BRIGADOON.. the mgical scottish musical. I am Ensemble and a Sword Dancer... A FUCKING SWORD DANCER
YAY
come see my show. I am really super tired so I am going to have a nap, but I promise that the next entry, possibly later today, will be much better.
"Everything's comig up roses for me and for you"

IMVU - The World's Greatest 3D Chat

So is it just me, or does turning 18 make me feel weird. For a couple of reasons.
Reason one, I am going to be able to sign my own stuff AND purchase and/or be in porn. YAY.. I lied.. There is so much damn resposibility coming at me. It's freaking me out
Reason two, I am going to be able to do alot more things in Quebec.. like buy alcohol/smokes/porn/anything I want because I will be legal there. Oh man. freaks me out.
I guess when it come to being responsible for myself, I kinda get a little intimidated because I HATE being the responsible one given the circumstance. Me and responsibilities, such as paying for stuff, going to job interviews gets to me for some reason I dunno why.
Oh well. I shall bask in the days of being 17 for a couple more days.. Friday is the big day!

Phil
is
going
to
SHERIDAN

Elli and I
are sitting in my room
listening to really emo techno
getting drunk
Love stinks

Yesterday was my audition for Sheridan College. I applied for the Musical Theatre performance program. It all started off with me getting there an hour early, and sitting around with my mom waiting to register. I registered, and then I needed to have a poleroid picture taken of me for my file. I was the first poleroid picture taken for the auditions for 2007! I thought that was awesome, and would bring me a little bit of luck. I then, went to my dance audition. I was about half an hour early, so I stretched a lot because i was sore from Cats rehearsals (I am playing Mungojerrie in it :D) I then met one of the students at sheridan. Her name was jen, and she was helping out with the dance auditions. She was really nice. I talked to her for the whole half an hour I was there before the dance audition started. We started off with a quick warmup, which was really nice after stretching. We then moved on to doing some ballet combinations, which were fairly simple and fun. We then did a combination for the panel and then after that we were done. It took 2 hours to do the whole thing. After that i needed to write a theory test. I was really freaked out, because I was never that good at theory.. but when I did the test, it was REALLY easy. I scored perfect on it. THANKS HUMPHREYS! Anywho, I then went upstairs to do my ear/sightsinging test. I did really well there too. I then went downstairs again and met my accompianist who was really nice and practiced with me once before going in to the audition. I then went to my first vocal audition. it was REALLY good, and then I did my monologue. I then needed to have an interview with them, when they told me that they were giving me an RDA (request for direct acceptance) which is a really good thing! I then went out and waited around, met some hot college boys, filled out a survey, and then went to my RDA audition. This is where I did my songs and monologue again. After, they said that "The fact I was in that room was a very good sign, and that the worst thing that could happen was that i would get waitlisted." I was SOOO happy, and the judges said I sounded beautiful. I then left. I WAS FREE!!! The entire audition process at sheridan took 5 hours!
I leave ya'll with a quote from A Chorus Line
"God I hope I get it. I hope I get it!! How many people does he need?? God I hope I get it.. I hopr I get it... how many boys how many girls???"

hey all
i love this arty because it is so fun and iam with kelly and ate and nat and dicky and it is so fun because my sheridan audirin is tomorrow ns i am gone
jelly corkum says she wants on her lie jourkd

UTRSTRTGRZYYTDUFYJ

i love evetone they re so hot nd i i would do themi
lohi i love kate
'i wab her tyyyyeees'
CHARLUIE CHARLE IT A MAGACAL LEPLURODON

My father is such a pompous asshole dickface.
I come upstairs this morning, and he already starts going at it and trying to piss me off. Starts going on tangeants about how me not going to this winter retreat thing while they are off in montreal.. leaving my brother home for the weekend to trash the house. What a fucktard. He knew I had previously made plans with an old friend, who, because of him, I never get to see anymore because he made me change churches.... DOUCHEBAG. Then... he decides to instead of letting me get around to meet a friend on my own, he "nicely" offers me a ride there. I accept thinking the whole thing was over after I stopped bitching about how rude he was being by being a shithead for no reason. Oh no.. it wasn't over.. it was only the beginning.
In the car, he begins telling me that I am (a direct quote) "an arrogant asshole who is so stuck up of himself he has totally lost his values." I was shocked by this and said "Oh, yeah.. how?? Who is the one who is out of town every fucking week on business trips doing god knows what? Then comes back and decides to lash out on his son cuz he has no social life. It doesn't work out that way. Not my fauly you chose that job." Then he goes on saying how I don't have my priorities straight and I don't know how to run my life because I have issues... and then went on another tangeant about how I am not talented.. how I am not gonna get into sheridan and fail at life.. and for me to not come crying to him when my life sucks. THAT PISSED ME OFF!!! It pissed me off to the point where I ended up lashing out on him and how he has only been treating me like shit, how much I dislike him as a human being and told him I do not think of him as a father figure. He then began telling me that was bullshit cuz I needed him and mom there to make decision FOR ME.. and then i support it by doing it... WHICH IS TOTALLY WRONG.. I MAKE DECISIONS FOR MY FUCKING OWN LIFE AND THEY SUPPORT THAT DECISION... WHAT A FUCKING RETARD. Then it was silent... he dropped me off at the library as I could not take his shit anymore.. I then said... "Thanks for the talk *gives middle finger* ASSHOLE!"
I have never been this mad at my dad, or hated him this much either. I really need to move out.

Well, it's official....
I cannot get get Bert out of my head.. (my friends will know what I am talking about) Bert is a codename I has for someone whom I has a little liking towards. It's not for looks or anything, it's just, I feel that the first minutes that we met, we clicked. I felt a connection with this person right away, just these rays of "I care for you, even though I don't know you" and rays of "This is the person whom I would want to be with/Person who has helped me realize that I does look for more than just a physical connection. I cannot seem to get Bert out of his head. At times it can be frustrating, but at the same time, it makes me feel really happy. Messed eh?
What also makes hmy love life even more messed is that I have feelings for another person as well.. We shall call this person Cookie Monster for now, as I do not like mentioning names, and Cookie Monster has a certain "Je ne sais qoi" to it. I have liked Cookie Monster for a while. In fact, a funny story is what happened at a friends party, when both people were present in THE SAME room at once. That was one fucked up/intesnse night. It was my first time meeting Bert. That is when I felt the connection... but with Cookie Monster also present made my feelings so complex, that I found myself going to the washroom without even needing to go, just so I could clear my mind for just a little while. After Cookie Monster left, I felt a lot more free minded, even though Bert was still present, which made me feel really happy :D
Phil needs to get a new love life.. as his is very complicated right now because of other situations that have happened lately involving "complex feelings for "Elmo", and how Elmo already was dating somebody, after Elmo got a little intimate with me. That really hurt.. Then "Oscar the Grouch" made things worse by knowing this and not telling me. I am not going to get into that because it is such a long story and such a mess right now, that even Phil thinking about it makes Phil's head spin.
That is the end of this very long and complex love entry.. what an entry eh? I don't think I have ever written that muchon livejournal ever.

Well, it has come for once again, yet another commercial holiday to come up. That holiday is christmas.
Lots of shopping and food what not.. AND NO SCHOOL! Wooo.
I hopefully getting a new ipod!!! :D
Right now, I am currently sitting in the libbly (aka the library) with mcg... as it is our spare... we are not skipping *shifty eyes* I am also singing the yoshi theme song in my head... kinda annoying...
YAY

So this is my first journal entry... and it's sadly on a bad note BECAUSE I have to do this stupid workshop shit thing for english today about how Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs fits into the book Life of Pi... and it has to be 20 MINUTES LONG!!!! I'm totally freaking out because:
1) I am indifferent to the book... it's not my favourite.
2) I hate doing presentations.. unless it's like singing, acting or dancing.
Oh my goodness.. and I forgot my book at home so basically I am screwed. Someone come murder me now so I do not have to do this friggen' presentation!
I know what to say and all, it's just that... there isn't enough to talk about for 20 minutes!